Star!

~ Has Anybody Seen Our Ship? ~

What should we do with a drunken sailor?
So the saying goes
We're not tight and we're not too bright
Great Scott? I don't suppose

We lost our way
And we lost our pay
And to make the things complete
We've been and gone
And lost the blooming fleet

Has anybody seen our ship?
The H.M.S. Peculiar
We've been on shore for a month or more
And when we see the Captain
We should get what for

Heave ho, me hearties
Sing Glory, Hallelujah
A lady bold as she could be
Pinched our whistles at the Golden Key
Now, we're in between the devil and the big blue sea
Has anybody seen our ship?

Has anybody seen our ship?
The H.M.S. Suggestive
She sailed away across the bay
And we haven't had a smell of her
Since New Year's day

Heave ho, me hearties
We're getting rather restive
We pooled our money, spent the lot
The world forgetting by the world forgot
Now, we haven't got a penny for the you-know-what

Has anybody seen?
Has anybody seen?
Has anybody seen?
Has anybody seen?
Has anybody, anybody, anybody seen
Has anybody seen our ship?
Our ship???

~ My Ship ~

My ship has sails that are made of silk
The decks are trimmed with gold
And of jam and spice
There's a paradise
On the hold

My ship's aglow with a million pearls
And rubies fill each bin
The sun sits high in a sapphire sky
When my ship comes in

I can wait the years
Till it appears
One fine day
One spring

But the pearls and such
They won't mean much
If there's missing just one thing...

I do not care
If that day arrives
That dream need never be
If the ship I sing
Doesn't also bring
My own true love to me

If the ship I sing
Doesn't also bring
My own true love to me

~ The Saga Of Jenny ~

There once was a girl named Jenny
Whose virtues were varied and many
Excepting that she was inclined
Always to make up her mind
And Jenny points a moral
With which you cannot quarrel
As you will find

Jenny, Jenny
Who's Jenny?
Never heard of Jenny

Jenny made her mind up
When she was 3
She herself was going to trim the Christmas tree
Christmas Eve she lit the candles
Tossed the tapers away
Little Jenny was an orphan on Christmas day

Poor Jenny,
Bright as a penny
Her equal will be hard to find
She lost one dad and mother
A sister and a brother
But she would make up her mind

Jenny made her mind up
When she was 12
That into foreign languages she would delve
But at 17 to Vassar
It was quite a blow
That in 27 languages she couldn't say no.

Poor Jenny,
Bright as a penny
Her equal will be hard to find
To Jenny I'm beholden
Her heart was big and golden
But she would make up her mind

Jenny made her mind up at 22
To get herself a husband was the thing to do
So she got herself all dolled up
In her satins and furs
And she got herself a husband
But he wasn't hers...

Poor Jenny,
Bright as a penny
Her equal will be hard to find
Deserved a bed of roses
But history discloses
That she would make up her mind

Jenny made her mind up at 51
That she would write her memoirs before she was done
The very day her book was published, history relates
That were wifes who shot their husbands
In some 33 States.

Poor Jenny,
Bright as a penny
She's got no equal
It's true,
She could give cards in spadies
To many other ladies
But she would make up her mind

Jenny made her mind up at 75
That she would live to be the oldest woman alive
But gin and rum and destiny
They play funny tricks
And poor Jenny kicked the bucket
At 76...

Poor Jenny,
Bright as a penny
Her equal will be hard to find

Poor Jenny,
Bright as a penny
Her equal will be hard to find

Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny
Jenny points a moral with which you cannot quarrel
Makes a lot of common sense
Jenny and her saga
Prove that you're gaga
If you don't keep sitting on the fence

You know that Jenny and her story
Point the way to glory
For all man and womankind
Anyone with vision
Comes to this decision
You mustn't make up
Shouldn't make up
Never, ever, never make up
Your mind